Well, basicly I remember very little of the actual beginning, so part of what I am telling you now is folklore and fantasy on my mother's
behalf, and the same on the stories of the humans. It all began in a tiny town in the south of Germany, where a human family had taken a dying little kitty named Susi inside the shelter of their house and into the warmth and love of their hearts. One year later, Susi became pregnant and here we go.....!
Well, appearantly my mother was very scared when she was about to deliver me. She wouldn't leave human mommy Meike's and human
aunty Gesa's sight, not even for a million cheese treats.... See, this part for instance; I don't believe it, I think it's a big old fiction story. Picking a human
over cheese treats! Impossible!!! But anyway, to get back to the ficticious story ....because my mother Susi was constantly stuck to the humans' legs, Gesa and Meike
decided to sleep in one bed that night, and to place towels and blankets at the top end of the bed. They say that a little after midnight on
Sunday night June 8th, the humans saw my gorgeous head appear for the first time. One thing I know for sure, I was the most gorgeous , handsome thing
ever born! That's also why there was only one of me! The humans say that I was a real chubby little kitten, but that's all a lie of course!
They say that my tummy was so "Pummelig" (which means "chubby" in German) that they began to call me Pumi. Now, this may or may not have been true
in those times, but it sure as anything isn't true about me anymore. I'm a very handsome, kind, and slender young Tom-boy! Yes, I am!
The Wonder Years:
I grew up really fast. I got to play with all sorts of fun things, and I could always get a cuddle from any human I looked at. ...I trained them well from the beginning... My mother Susi always brought me nice and fresh mice, and later on she taught me how to catch them myself. ...Little did I know, she was teaching me to feed myself! What an outrage! Me! Me, the king of the house, the Pasha of the Prairie, the Master of Cuddle, the Shiek of the Harem, the most spoiled brat in the whole world! Me? Catch my own mice? What a laugh!...But she did finally succeed! She was really mean to me actually. She would bring me a nice mousy, then she'd let me sniff it, and when I got all excited, she would knock me upside the head with her motherly paw, and take the mouse, and eat it right infront of my eyes.
But with time I did get over that. I had a great life out there, lot's of fields, comfortable beds, very humble humans who ran at my every request. Oh, that was the life! But then it happened! Ooooooh, how I dread that awful night!!!
...I should have seen it coming, you know. Now all the signs point right to it as I look back on it. Anyway, I noticed that the humans were doing a lot of work around the house. Which was something I
didn't like at all, because as you know I have to patrol every inch of my Kingdom to check on any changes that occurred. Well, EVERYTHING seemed to be changing! Sometimes it was really fun though, I have to admit. Especially all those times when I would play "hide and seek" and "chase the crunchy bag-mice" in all those boxes
full with crunchy paper that were standing around all over the place....Along with all those changes came a lot of Vet visits. Many more than I had had in my whole life! And most of the time Susi and I were
only looked at, no worm shots or anything. Then all of a sudden it got really weird! There were no more chairs to take my naps on. There were no more beds to stretch out on. There was no diningroom table to steal food from! Nothing! There was absolutely nothing!
As I was standing there in awe, wondering what was happening, and who or what had demolished my Kingdom, my human mommy Meike grabbed me, and stuck me into this tiny cage! Then I had to ride in that stupid thing, humans call a car! It was aweful! The rest is too painful for me to discribe. Basically, my mother and I had to ride in the belly of a thing called an airplane, for what seemed a lifetime!
It was so horrible and scary, and I just didn't know what was happening. What to think? What to do? I was sooooo scared! But it turned out not to be all bad after all. We ended up at a new house with new surroundings to discover, and territories to mark. Hi hi hi. The climate of where we were gave it away right away where we had been moved to: The United States of America! Yup, there we were, fullbread German strays (or European Shorthair, as they like to call us) in AMERICA! WOW! In North Carolina to be a little more exact. I adjusted pretty quickly. Even though it was hard at first to communicate with all the other cats in a foreign language. But eventually I learned english, and defended my territory well.
I guess out of reasons of worry, mommy Meike wouldn't let us outside anymore during the night. I didn't like that very much, because after all, I'm nocturnal, and I spoke my mind all night long for months, letting her know how I felt about her choice. When I was another year older, the whole circus started again. As before I was totally against it. But as it turned out, the humans only had my best interest in mind, ...It still amazes me how well I trained them... because as it turns out, the new kingdom they moved me to was much much bigger,
with more things to throw down, more carpets to claw to death, more stairs to chase Susi up and down, and a much nicer territory outside, with no other cats around to try to compete with THE PRINCE OF BEL AIR! Yup, I liked it there! This was finally a kingdom worth of my greatness, fame, and status! They finally seemed to understand how to treat the greatest cat of them all! And thus I was brilliantly crowned: EMPORER PUMI !!!
Oh, I loved my empire! I was so happy and so well taken care of by everyone. There was not really much more I could have wanted or wished for. ...Except my real manhood of course, but that was kind of hopeless...
I was the happiest cat alife! But then something terrible happened to my little right hand and best friend Dummy, while he was playing outside, and that dark thunderous day, the humans decided to reduce my empire to the mere amounts of the inside walls of my Palace! I was shocked and horrified. For seven years I was cooped up without ever smelling the sunlight and fresh air breezes in my majestic nostrils. That part I really hated, but I did keep myself busy playing with little Dummy, and trashing Susi every once in a while, and by complaining to my mommy every night while she was trying to ignore me with her eyes closed.
Slowly I felt that I was getting old. I was gaining loads of weight, and the scale actually hit 14 1/2 pounds at one point. Every once in a while I would make a desperate hopeful attempt at becoming young again. I would sit by the door, timing everything just right, and then when I saw my mommy coming in through the front door with her hands full of groceries, I would attack, screamimg on the top of my loungs: CHAAAAAAAAARGE !!!! And then with one whoop I was outside. Freedom! For one small second I'd have to stop and pinch myself to make sure it was all true. But not for long, because soon I'd send my frantic mommy on a wild goose chase! That was always so much fun, and it would last until my clever mommy actually outsmarted me and caught me, or until I ran out of breath and simply
lied down in the grass or on the driveway for her to pick me up and carry me back into the sarcastic walls of my Palace. It was this I think that kept me young and active.
Sadly though I did have some major destiny blows in my young life, such as some of the moves ...of which I did recover very nicely though..., and especially the passing away of my dearest friend Dummy. That was the hardest time of all for me, and I really don't like to think back at it, and much less do I want to talk about it. My life did brighten up again with that little grey furball Hexe though,
and I grew to love her just as much. ...Not to forget the inevitable beginning of my Harem. I was after all: SHEIK PUMI! And Hexe was already the second female kitty cat under my majestic paw!...
The days were pretty happy, and sometimes my mommy would take us outside with leashes. But she'd only do that when it was way too hot to walk around anyway. I missed
the old days of roaming my outside territory, but I didn't complain all too much since I had such good caretakers in spite of it all.
In The Prime Of My Life:
My life perked up a lot when our new daddy came to live with us. That was great! We were being spoiled rotten by him ...and I do have to admit that that added quite a few ounces to my gorgeous body..., but he is a really great daddy! I was too happy and too blissfull to see the obvious signs though. I should have known from the beginning anyway that a coming of a new daddy, would have very extensive effects on our lives.
To my shock and horror, around summertime in June 1996, I saw them again! I saw them again! The horrible cardboard BOXES!!!! And instinctively I knew: Mommy and Daddy are going away!!! For one small moment I was terrified that they would leave me behind, but then Mother-Susi reminded me that they would never leave us behind. But guess what, she was wrong and I was right: Mommy and Daddy left us! I was soooo sad for months, it was unbelievable. I couldn't understand why they would leave us, and all of a sudden my Palace which I was now sharing only with my human aunty Gesa seemed sooooo empty.
One day in September, aunty Gesa made me feel really weird. Something was going on and I really felt it in my gut that I didn't like it at all. I got even more suspicious when she took all of us to the Vet quite a few times, and all the Vet did was sort of look at us and stuff. It was almost like a d�j�-vu, I could already feel what was coming ..... and I was right!!!! A long long carride while being squshed in those tiny tight cages again! Aunty Gesa gave us some nasty pills to eat, and
even though I fought as hard as I could, my eyes just wouldn't stay open, and I finally drifted off to sleep. I sort of came to a few times and realized I was in that aweful noisy belly of an airplane once more!
I was much to drousy to be scared though. When I finally woke up I was more than gladly surprised. I looked up and saw my Mommy and Daddy! They took Susi, Hexe, and me to my new Palace in the North of Holland. I must say, it's even grander than the old one was, only that this one has an added bonus: I rule the backyard too, and as much land as the eye can reach! Now that I call a life. I'm in the prime of my life now at almost 11 years old, and I feel like a little kitten again. There's sooo much to do here, there are so many animals to be branded my own, and of course I had to learn another foreign language to keep the strays out of my territory,
there are so many mice and molds, and birds, and rodents, and things to catch around here. It's just great! It's all I've missed all those years and I'm frantically catching up on all of it.
Now my day consists of sleeping in Mommy and Daddy's bed ...right inbetween them ofcourse... then I get up to enjoy a nice breakfast, and then I roam around outside for a while. Sometime in the afternoon I usually bring home a nice juicy
present for mommy and daddy, just to show a little bit of appreciation because they do take really good care of me. I'm always careful as not to damage the presents much, and to leave them right where they belong: under the dining room table. As soon as they get home, it's dinner time again, and time for lot's of goodies too.
The only bad thing here is the weather. It rains a lot, and of course as the E MPEROR OF THE NETHERLANDS I cannot allow my beautifully groomed coat to be exposed to anything as revulting as: Wetness!!!
Dishwasher!
I'm in charge of training the humans!
Trash Susi whenever she gets annoying!
Tender Vittles!
Lasagna!
...Meet Hexe...
